Facebook Rant...

Facebook has always been a reassuring tool for procrastination.  A few years ago, people would join  groups celebrating random things we like/dislike, or to promote a business or cause.  Then came the Facebook "Fanpage"...

the above is not a fanpage, but I would join if it existed...

The Fanpage application revolutionized Facebook.  Not only could we add friends and stalk their photos of inhebreated nights out, we could now get a glimpse of celebrities and products.  Groups tend to scratch the surface, but a Fanpage was like a Facebook Profile for a product. 

All of a sudden, people started creating pages for everything... down to pages for dead celebrities, to random things like "I flip my pillow to sleep on the cold side".  The trend infected Facebook users as fast as a case of flesh-eating disease. 

However, as of recently, facebook pages aren't for amusement or tools of procrastination... they are being used as a means for online businesses to trick you into joining the facebook page, and then link you to completing annoying surveys in order to discover the revelation.

This trickery is done by attracting legions of Facebook addicts (including myself) with hyperbolic titles such as "AFTER SEEING THIS, I AM NEVER TEXTING AGAIN!"
- note the ALL CAPS - which fools us into thinking it's important or true... like a headline.
- note the exclamation - proving its urgency
- note the ridiculousness of the situation... who in their right minds would never text again?  This bold statement succeeds in intriguing us into discovering for ourselves why the fuck someone would give up such a modern and necessary means of communication. 

You click on the link to join the page... and unfortunately are subjected to spamming your entire friendslist, which creates havoc and sheer annoyance when the recipient has to sift through all those irrelevant pages.

But no... you're not done yet!  The truth as to why someone would give up texting or why you should NEVER drink coca cola from an innocent aluminum can is far from your reach.  You must follow the link to complete a survey.  So you answer a few IQ questions, and then you must give your mobile phone number.  You become SO desperate that you provide a random number (or Pizza Pizza's) but you are never, ever blessed with the goods.

Last week, I got an invite to a page, publishing the ways to cheat on a scantron... I went through with that unnerving process I described above, and finally gave up.  So I turned to Yahoo Answers and did eventually learn the ways to "cheat" on a Scantron (which are bullshit anyways...)  I was left unsatisfied, with a bad taste in my mouth all day.

Maybe I'm just a neurotic journalist who has an unrelenting urge, no, need to discover the truth.  But it pisses me off that these are just pages in order to create sensation, offering no resolve. 

There are many things wrong with these types of Facebook pages...First off, there are legitimate companies like P&G that put a lot of money into creating pages to promote their brand and advertise on Facebook home pages... then there are these evil scammers that create a sensation that ends up getting spread around like a disgusting STD to a much wider community... and these aren't even legit businesses.  Please tell me if you know someone that has gotten an iPhone for free.  It's bullshit.  And it spams my Feed and Inbox.  I just want to go about my business on Facebook sharing photos with friends, messaging contacts and playing Farmville in peace.

If anyone knows the "truth" behind any of the pages I've mentioned... please let me know. 

I'm also curious to see what Lady Gaga looked like as a fat teenager (which is yet another mystery page...)